EDITOR'S STATEMENT
by Sanya Gupta, Co-Editor-in-Chief
by Sanya Gupta, Co-Editor-in-Chief
“hey sis! I hope ur doing well :)” followed by like 31 lines of text explaining what was going on but assuring me there was no pressure whatsoever. TLDR: Ana Chen, our glorious editor-in-chief, wanted to know if I wanted to be her co-editor-in-chief for the next few months.
That’s the situation I woke up to on Sunday, February 2, 2020. In all honesty, I didn’t really know what to make of everything and I was a bit discombobulated from the whirlwind of emotions I had gone through the night before at a Science Olympiad competition. Quite frankly, I did not know if I could even be trusted with this magazine considering I rarely openly expressed my emotions, something the magazine focuses on. Nevertheless, I decided why not. Now, though I am not quite sure how to start this, but perhaps since this is the first issue of the year, what if I compared last year to this year thus far. For the sake of brevity, I will compare 2019 to January of this year alone.
As a whole 2019 was quite a ride and truly toyed with my emotions quite a lot. Coming into 2020, much to my dismay, I found that this trend continued. I have never been someone who has been comfortable sharing how she feels let alone being able to react to situations in a healthy way. For instance, when I’m sad, rather than talking through how I feel, I will make pancakes at 3 o’clock in the morning when my parents think I am asleep. One of my friends often gets quite confused because, another one of my “sad girl quirks” is, instead of asking him to be wholesome, I ask him to be even meaner than he would generally be. The funny thing is that, even though, sometimes, doing things like this makes me feel 500 times worse, sometimes it actually helps thus compelling me to do it again, pushing me into a never ending cycle of destruction. I guess that is something this magazine has really taught me over the past year. Mental health doesn’t make sense. And in some sense, it really isn’t supposed to. Honestly, mental health as a whole is kind of arcane, yet I find myself trying (often in vain) to figure it out.
Going back to comparisons, I can’t say 2020 has completely changed me, but it has encouraged me to be more blunt, at least with myself. Rather than milling over something for weeks, I now find myself making decisions much faster and just going with the stream of things, hoping for the best. This is not to say I don’t ever get confused when making decisions, rest assured, I am as much of a disaster as I was a month or so ago. I still overthink things, I still get confused, I still regret my decisions, I’m still me… but, at the same time, I find myself doing things more impulsively. Before, I would feel the need to fit running into my schedule, now, when I’m home and feel like running… I actually do it. I actually go outside and run. Isn’t that amazing? I feel like I’ve reached that strange point when I can realize that I only have so much more time left before I go to college, before I have to actually put myself into the world. That whole contemplation is frightening to say the least. I have to put up a facade for my parents, councilors, friends, teachers, everyone assuring them that I am perfectly alright. The least I can do is be real with myself, right?
After much deliberation, “much” standing in place of “a year of,” I have decided that I will never understand 2019. There were times I was the happiest I had been in quite some time while, other times, I did not know what to do with myself (or life for that matter). Though she has made it clear that this statement should be more about me, I would like to emulate one of Ana’s statements from her previous editor’s statement - this magazine, It’s Real, has given me a home. It has given me an opportunity to reflect on everything that has happened, and I hope it has done the same for many of you reading. From not wondering if anyone would even be willing to submit to having an influx of talent contribute was overwhelming in all the best ways. We have now compiled a list of the best (using this word incredibly loosely as you are all the best in my heart) poems, visual art pieces, etc. that our magazine has to offer. Give them a read, deliberate, reflect.
Once again, thank you so much for your support. It’s Real could not be what it is without each and every one of you. I hope you enjoy our fabulous It’s Real family’s works. Take care and happy reading!
Much love and appreciation,
Sanya <3
That’s the situation I woke up to on Sunday, February 2, 2020. In all honesty, I didn’t really know what to make of everything and I was a bit discombobulated from the whirlwind of emotions I had gone through the night before at a Science Olympiad competition. Quite frankly, I did not know if I could even be trusted with this magazine considering I rarely openly expressed my emotions, something the magazine focuses on. Nevertheless, I decided why not. Now, though I am not quite sure how to start this, but perhaps since this is the first issue of the year, what if I compared last year to this year thus far. For the sake of brevity, I will compare 2019 to January of this year alone.
As a whole 2019 was quite a ride and truly toyed with my emotions quite a lot. Coming into 2020, much to my dismay, I found that this trend continued. I have never been someone who has been comfortable sharing how she feels let alone being able to react to situations in a healthy way. For instance, when I’m sad, rather than talking through how I feel, I will make pancakes at 3 o’clock in the morning when my parents think I am asleep. One of my friends often gets quite confused because, another one of my “sad girl quirks” is, instead of asking him to be wholesome, I ask him to be even meaner than he would generally be. The funny thing is that, even though, sometimes, doing things like this makes me feel 500 times worse, sometimes it actually helps thus compelling me to do it again, pushing me into a never ending cycle of destruction. I guess that is something this magazine has really taught me over the past year. Mental health doesn’t make sense. And in some sense, it really isn’t supposed to. Honestly, mental health as a whole is kind of arcane, yet I find myself trying (often in vain) to figure it out.
Going back to comparisons, I can’t say 2020 has completely changed me, but it has encouraged me to be more blunt, at least with myself. Rather than milling over something for weeks, I now find myself making decisions much faster and just going with the stream of things, hoping for the best. This is not to say I don’t ever get confused when making decisions, rest assured, I am as much of a disaster as I was a month or so ago. I still overthink things, I still get confused, I still regret my decisions, I’m still me… but, at the same time, I find myself doing things more impulsively. Before, I would feel the need to fit running into my schedule, now, when I’m home and feel like running… I actually do it. I actually go outside and run. Isn’t that amazing? I feel like I’ve reached that strange point when I can realize that I only have so much more time left before I go to college, before I have to actually put myself into the world. That whole contemplation is frightening to say the least. I have to put up a facade for my parents, councilors, friends, teachers, everyone assuring them that I am perfectly alright. The least I can do is be real with myself, right?
After much deliberation, “much” standing in place of “a year of,” I have decided that I will never understand 2019. There were times I was the happiest I had been in quite some time while, other times, I did not know what to do with myself (or life for that matter). Though she has made it clear that this statement should be more about me, I would like to emulate one of Ana’s statements from her previous editor’s statement - this magazine, It’s Real, has given me a home. It has given me an opportunity to reflect on everything that has happened, and I hope it has done the same for many of you reading. From not wondering if anyone would even be willing to submit to having an influx of talent contribute was overwhelming in all the best ways. We have now compiled a list of the best (using this word incredibly loosely as you are all the best in my heart) poems, visual art pieces, etc. that our magazine has to offer. Give them a read, deliberate, reflect.
Once again, thank you so much for your support. It’s Real could not be what it is without each and every one of you. I hope you enjoy our fabulous It’s Real family’s works. Take care and happy reading!
Much love and appreciation,
Sanya <3